


The Real Reason Petunia Hates Magic

by Marvelous_Red



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comedy, Double Date, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Humor, Humor, James Potter Being an Idiot, Romance, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Sirius Black is a Little Shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:09:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25720096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marvelous_Red/pseuds/Marvelous_Red
Summary: Aunt Petunia hated anything that had to do with magic but, what if it was more than just being jealous of a younger sister?In the summer of 1977 Lily Evans agrees to go out on a date with Marauder, James Potter only her parents require one thing: She has to double date with her older sister, Petunia. James desperate to go on the date he's been waiting to go on since he was eleven years old calls his best mate and bad boy, Siruis Black. The two not only meet the girls' parents but, Petunia falls in love with the self-assured Siruis Black, who is more than a little upset with the muggle he's be set up with. While James and Lily's date goes off without a hitch Petunia's is another story. This is the real reason Petunia hates magic.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Petunia Evans Dursley
Kudos: 14





	The Real Reason Petunia Hates Magic

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fun idea I had about why exactly Petunia hates magic so much and this is what it turned into! Hope it gives you a laugh as that is all it was meant to do! Enjoy!

The Real Reason Petunia Hates Magic:

“I have good news, James.” The raven-haired teen scoffed, leaning against the small muggle phone booth. 

“It must be good if you made me use a muggle device.” He teased, shoving the instructions Lily had sent the young wizard into the pocket of his jeans. He could practically hear the red-head roll her eyes through the phone. 

“It’s called a telephone box, idiot.” She sighed in slight annoyance as she stretched the cord through the kitchen and into the hall. “Anyways my parents said yes-” James’ eyes went wide behind his rounded glasses. He grinned brightly from ear to ear. 

“Really? That’s great, Lils! So, What time should I pick you up? Around seven? Or is that too late? Anytime is good wit-”

“James, You’re doing it again.” She sighed once more. He stopped, rubbing the back of his neck. A nervous habitat he had picked up over the years. 

“Oh, right. Sorry, Lils.” Lily shook her head trying not to laugh. 

“My parents said yes but, only if my older sister comes.” She told him and she heard him sigh. 

“Your older sister?” James questioned in confusion. “Er...Why?” Lily laughed at the question. 

“My parents are a bit strict and old fashioned, so they’d just feel better if I didn’t go alone. I’m only allowed if my sister comes along.” James nodded, his brow frowning as he tried to remember her sister’s name. 

“..Your older sister?” He questioned. 

“Yeah. My  _ only  _ sister, P-” 

“No, I know. You know I do listen to you, Lils?” She smirked in amusement. 

“Oh do you? Well, What’s her name?” James’ eyes widened. 

“Right, Right. Er...I know it’s a flower name.” Lily bit down on her lip a little to stop from laughing. She pursed her lips, holding back the snickers. 

“Huh huh.” James snapped his fingers. 

“Alright, got it! Pansy!” She shook her head. 

“Hmm. It is a flower name.” James' confident grin fell to a defeated frown that she could almost hear. 

“You mean it’s not Pansy?!” He questioned. Lily laughed, unable to hold it back anymore. 

“Petunia, James. It’s Petunia.” 

“Right. Close enough. So, Your folks want her to come along with us?” He asked, avoiding the fact he didn’t remember the name. 

“Only if she has a date too. Is Remus doing anything tonight?” She quickly asked. At least Remus would be less of a shock to her sister. He seemed more her type anyways. 

“Moony has his furry problem tonight.” Lily sighed. 

“Peter?” James bursted out laughing. 

“I wouldn’t do that to your sister.” She gasped. 

“James Potter don’t be mean to little peter!” He just laughed. 

“Oh Sirius isn’t doing anything.” He mentioned. 

“I thought him and Marlene were going steady?” Lily questioned. 

“Lily, We are talking about Sirius Orion Black, right?” The red-headed witch laughed. 

“True.” She was bubbling with anticipation. “Okay. I’ll tell them! Be sure to wear something nice.” James grinned, beaming. 

“Great! Seven this Friday?” He asked, trying to hold in his excitement. Lily grinned. 

“Yes, that sounds wonderful, James! Oh, One more thing.” Lily’s voice turned serious for a moment. 

“What? You don’t have a brother do you? I mean we could reschedule and ask Remus but, I’m not sure-” 

“James!” She scolded.    
“Kidding!” He quickly reassured, laughing. “Really what is it?” He asked, still grinning like a mad man. 

“Could you try to tame your hair?” She asked, unsure how he would react. 

“You don’t like my hair?” She sighed, hearing the hurt in his voice. 

“No, I do! I love it! I-It’s just you’ll be meeting my parents-”

“But, my hair is my personality.” Lily raised an eyebrow unsure how to respond to that. “Er..Forget that part.” 

“Will do. See you Friday, Potter.” She teasingly said his last name. 

“Can’t wait, Evans.” The two hung up quickly. Lily grinned before she jumped up and down. 

“Yes, Yes, Yes, YES!” She cheered in the kitchen. 

  
  


The Date Night:

It had already begun to get dark and James repeatedly checked his watch and smoothed out his navy blue dress shirt and corduroy jacket with silver buttons that shined in certain light while he wore a freshly pressed pair of dark slacks and shiny black dress shoes. James Potter’s clothes were finely made and he had made sure to have his mother press them more than once just to be sure. Sirius, who wore a solid black dress shirt with white buttons that half of them were left unbuttoned. Unlike James, The teen’s shirt wasn’t pressed and had its fair share of wrinkles with the shirt not tucked into at all and instead of a dressier jacket who wore a solid black leather jacket with black jeans and black combat boots. However, he did put in the effort of brushing through his shoulder length curly hair but purposely didn’t bother to shave leaving some scruff. They continued down the street. 

“Hey, mate. You sure she’s not a dog, right?” Sirius suddenly asked, unsure about the whole thing. James stopped looking at him in disbelief with a slight glare. 

“That’s rich coming from you.” James took a pause. “Padfoot.” He said slowly, his eyes narrowing at him behind rounded silver framed glasses. Sirius hit him in the arm. 

“Oh shove off, Prongs!” James just laughed before they continued to walk, running a hand through his messy and untamed raven hair that stuck up in any direction. They walked up the driveway before Sirius started sniffing. 

“My point exactly-” 

“No. Did you-” Sirius sniffed in his direction. 

“Oh, Merlin! James, Did you pour the whole damn bottle of collagen over yourself?!” He questioned, covering his nose. James looked a little guilty. 

“Not the  _ whole _ bottle.” Sirius rolled his eyes before James nervously put his hand up to knock before he let it fall again. 

“Padfoot, Tell me how great I am.” He sighed. Sirius leaned against the post. 

“You’re an amazing, brilliant, talented wizard..” James nodded, grinning with confidence. “Who is also a cologne lunatic who is a massive git-” 

“Screw you!” James yelled at Sirius who glared, punching his arm before he knocked on the door. Sirius laughed, shaking his head. He relished seeing James so nervous about a date that he’d been dreaming about ever since he was eleven years old. The white door opened and a tall man with dark hair and a plain face who was clean shaven. James took a deep breath, pushing his glasses up his nose. He thrusted his hand out to Lily’s father who looked at him with a judging look that Lily must have inherited. 

“Mynameisjamespotterandit’sapleasuretomeetyou.” He blurted out nervously. The older man was taken back. Sirius nudged him hard with his shoulder. 

“Excuse me?” James sighed as Sirius snickered. 

“Er..My name is James Potter a-and it’s a pleasure to meet you.” He slowed down, his heart still racing. The man shook James’ hand with a crushing strength that made James hope he didn’t appear weak in comparison. 

“Pleasure, James. I’m Herb Evans and who’s this?” Herb introduced. Sirius snickered. 

“This is Sirius Black.” James introduced after letting go of Herb’s hand. SIrius offered his hand lazily. 

“Herb Evans.” Sirius raised an eyebrow. 

“Are you serious?” He asked. 

“No but, you are.” James grimmanced at the joke as Siruis looked dumbfounded. 

“Which one of you is Lily’s date?” He asked. 

“I am!” James said louder than necessary before he cleared his throat. 

“And I’m-” Sirius looked at James, forgetting her name, not that he had really bothered to learn it. James’ eyes widened before he sneakily looked down at the smudged name written on his hand. 

“Petunia! He’s Petunia's date!” James quickly said, again a little louder than necessary. 

“Well, Come on inside! Let’s not keep these women waiting.” They quickly shuffled inside the quaint home filled with objects that neither boy really understood. A red-headed woman came around the corner as Herb shut the door. 

“Oh, you must be the girl’ dates!” The woman had a high-pitched voice that was sweet sounding with a bright white smile. “I’m Rose.” They shook her dainty hands. 

“Pleasure to meet you, ma'am. I’m James Potter and This is-” 

“Sirius Black.” She smiled sweetly. 

“What lovely boys, Herb.” Sirius smirked. 

“So, Rose. You got a Basil running around?” He joked and James glared at him in horror. Rose just smiled. 

“No but, that would make a lovely name wouldn’t it, Herb?” She asked sweetly. 

“Huh huh, Sweetie.” James could feel the male’s eyes burning into them. She sighed. 

“Well, I’ll go fetch the girls for you.” James waited until Herb Evans went to go have some kind of ‘talk’ with the Evans girls. He grabbed Sirius by the collar of his shirt. 

“Do not mess this up for me! I need this date to go flawlessly, Padfoot! I’ve waited five years for this day.” He told him harshly. Sirius just laughed. 

“Do you know how pathetic that makes you sound?” James opened his mouth but stopped hearing someone clear their throat. He looked up to the stairs and his jaw dropped at Lily, who stood at the top of the stairs wearing a long blue-striped sundress that stopped right below the knee with a pair of brown scandals. She hardly had any makeup on and her long red hair was let down and flowed down her back like a river. James stood there in awe and time seemed to stand still as he took in the beauty that was Lily Evans. She smiled, biting her lip and looking down. 

“Lily, You’re perfect.” Lily giggled, her cheeks dusted pink from the comment. Sirius raised an eyebrow at the thin girl next to her. Petunia was neither exceptionally attractive nor was she unattractive. The girl was more so plain than anything. She stepped out her bright yellow polka-dotted dress nearly blinding Sirius. Unlike Lily she wore much more makeup than was needed while her dark hair was braided into a tight bun. Petunia’s eyes widened in awe as she looked down at Sirius. 

“Oh my.” She gasped, staring up at him like she was looking at a star. Her eyes admired the crinkled leather jacket that showed his defined arms, the messy shirt that was half unbuttoned, and the tight jeans that left no imagination to his lean yet muscular figure. Sirius crossed his arms looking at James, who Petunia thought was a boring boy that her parents expected her sister to bring home while Sirius was not. “He’s perfection.” She muttered, staring at Sirius like a lovesick fool. 

“What?” Lily gawked at her sister. 

“Well, I can see which sister got the looks.” Lily glared at Sirius in horror as James’ head snapped towards him but, Petunia grinned, swaying slightly. 

“You really think so?” Petunia quickly hurried towards him as Siruis looked uninterested. Lily hurried towards James with a sweet smile. 

“I-I got you chocolates. R-Remus suggested it.” Lily laughed as she took it. 

“ _ Don’t get her flowers, Prongs! Get her chocolate. Trust me it helps.”  _ Remus had never steered him wrong so he had taken the advice without question. 

“Well you four have fun.” Rose smiled before grabbing a camera as Lily grabbed James’ hand. “Oh, Let’s have a photo!” Lily glared at her mother. 

“Oh no, Mum. I don’t think we should-” 

“Why not?” The older woman asked. 

“I don’t think Petunia would-” 

“Let’s take a photo!” The older sister called, already attached to Sirius' arm. Lily groaned before the four lined up and took the photo. Lily held James’ hand as he put an arm around her waist. Beside James Siruis stood with Petunia hugging onto his arm. Sirius pulled Petunia with him. 

“Come on, Flower.” Petunia looked as if she was going to faint from the nickname but, instead she just giggled. 

“Make sure you’re back before 11!” Herb yelled after them. 

“We know!” Lily waved her off, pulling James with her. The two parents watched their girls walk away with the two young wizards. 

“Aren’t they just lovely?” Rose asked, looking to her husband. 

“A couple of long haired hippies.” He grumbled. James turned back. 

“Er, Lily?” She looked to him with a smile. “What’s a hippie?” He asked. She groaned. 

“A nice boy. Muggle term.” She quickly reassured. 

“Oh. Wicked!” He grinned as Lily hooked her arm around his, standing on her tippy toes to kiss his cheek. 

  
  


Sirius was slumped in his chair with a frown as he leaned his head on his arm as he looked at Petunia in disinterest. Why had he let James convince him to go on a date with Lily’s sister? 

_ “It’s Lily’s sister, Padfoot! How different could they be?”  _ He had said. He had imagined she would maybe resemble Lily a little. He had thought red-headed at least but certainly didn’t think it would be someone with less shape than his wand. For Merlin's sake, he’d rather be on a date with the skinny, baggy horrendous cardigan wearing Remus Lupin. Petunia hadn’t stopped smiling since she had met the bad boy Sirius Black. She scooted closer to him and he scooted down a little before he looked over at James who sat across from them. He made a face of bitter disgust as James and Lily had started snogging and it didn’t seem like they were going to stop. Sirius thought at least he’d try to make conversation. Maybe it’d make the night go by faster. All he wanted to do was curl up in bed and forget it ever happened or punch the living hell out of James Potter. The latter seemed more fitted for this situation. He turned back to the plain girl he’d been stuck with for the past hour. He might as well make conversation. He sighed. 

“So..-” Petunia quite literally lunged at him with lips puckered and he fell back slightly before he caught her shoulders and pushed her back slightly. “Woah, Woah!” Petunia looked at him with a frown. 

“What is it, Sirius?” He didn’t quite like how she said his name. 

“It’s just-” Sirius shook his head before he drowned his drink. “Oh, What the hell.” He muttered before he quickly kissed her. 

Lily looked up at James with a sweet smile. 

“I had a great night, James.” He grinned like a fool. 

“Aren’t you glad you finally said yes, Lils?” She rolled her eyes, pushing him back and walking towards the door. James chased after her. 

“Give me a farewell kiss?” He suggested causing her to laugh. 

“Why is it a long walk?” She teased. 

“Oh yes incredibly. I began walking after I called you.” Lily let out a laugh. James adored the sound. 

“Then I guess you’ve worked hard enough for it.” She teased before she kissed him. Sirius crossed his arms more than ready to leave and rather bitter about the night. 

“We should do this again, Sirius.” Petunia smiled sweetly at him. Sirius laughed loudly. 

“In your dreams, sweetheart.” He walked off towards the end of the driveway before Petunia looked after him and her smile faded before she ran back to the house, knocking into James and Lily. 

“Petun-” 

“I hate you!” She cried, storming up to her room. “I HATE MAGIC!” She shouted before she slammed the door. 

“So, Are we still on for next week?” James asked. Lily laughed

“If you’re good.” She remarked. James grinned. 

“That wasn’t a no, Evans. I think you’re warming up to me.” He teased. 

“Night, James.” He backed off of the porch, blowing her a kiss. He walked down the driveway towards the road before looking back and waving. Lily waved back before she closed the door. James looked towards the house still grinning like a fool, his eyes showing nothing but, admiration. Sirius rolled his eyes before he swung his fist hard and fast into James’ gut. The raven haired boy groaned doubling over, his glasses falling off and he swore he was going to be sick. 

“You owe me big time.” 


End file.
